Is he talking to me?
"Seriously, I'll buy your coffee!"
He is talking to me. Oh golly... Words. Just say some words and get away from this man.
"Thanks, that's nice, but I'm all set!"
Thank goodness I'm already done paying. Now fake a smile and walk quickly to the door.
"Fine! Just trying to be a nice guy! *mumble grumble* bitch *mumble grumble*"
Did I not thank him for the offer?! Did I not POLITELY decline?!
Because here's what I could have said:
First of all, sir, no woman with curly hair appreciates being referred to as "Curly" or "Curls." I am not a member of the Three Stooges, thank-you-very-much. Also, not to mention anyone with halfway decent eyesight can tell I have curly hair. So, not very creative as far as cutesy nicknames go. Also not appropriate to try to use said lame-ass cutesy nickname on a stranger at Kwik Trip with a wedding ring on her finger, or any stranger for that matter.
Second of all, I'm already done paying. So standing behind me at the register and then offering to pay for my coffee after my transaction is complete...? Smooth move, sailor. Does that one actually ever work? But this is beside the point. I have no interest in having you buy me coffee anyway.
Lastly, sir, you seem to have a cloud around you that smells like what can only be described as stale moonshine and body odor. A 3-foot radius might be a good standard for you to maintain.
Cheers!
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